“Lift up your hearts above the present and look with eyes of faith into the future! Today the seed is sown, the grain falls upon the earth, but behold the day will come when it shall rise a glorious tree and the branches thereof shall be laden with fruit. Rejoice and be glad that this day has dawned, try to realize its power, for it is indeed wonderful! God has crowned you with honour and in your hearts has He set a radiant star; verily the light thereof shall brighten the whole world!”
amy: i couldn’t help but look up to the sky yesterday – it was so blue and bright. it was still freezing cold, but it didn’t matter as sunlight washed over everything. i kept repeating this line from a morning prayer i love: “Illumine my inner being, O my Lord, with the splendors of the Dayspring of Thy Revelation, even as Thou didst illumine my outer being with the morning light of Thy favor’ and how true it rang, how i wanted to be illumined in my ‘inner being’, that true essence of myself, in the same way that that sunshine was caressing my cheek, brightening up my day and putting a spring in my step.
i’ve discovered that fasting from my own desires is revealing a very unbecoming me to myself. this has been my most confronting fast yet, where i don’t like the person i seem to be under the pressures of new motherhood, snarling about losing sleep and sniping about petty injustices; beatific and radiantly maternal i am not. undeservedly but thankfully, i have a loving, encouraging and patient partner and a beautiful daughter who smiles at me all day long. taking a long shower at the end of the day, using up all the hot water, is my version of breaking the fast.