day eighteen

“Do not bring our fasts to an end with this fast, O my Lord, nor the covenants Thou hast made with this covenant. Do Thou accept all that we have done for love of Thee, and for the sake of Thy pleasure, and all that we have left undone as a result of our subjection to our evil and corrupt desires. Enable us, then, to cleave steadfastly to Thy love and Thy good pleasure, and preserve us from the mischief of such as have denied Thee and repudiated Thy most resplendent signs. Thou art, in truth, the Lord of this world and of the next. No God is there beside Thee, the Exalted, the Most High.”

Bahá’u’lláh

amy: the fleetingness of this exact moment – that is the theme of this Fast for me. these days, simultaneously so precious and so ordinary that i worry i am both painfully aware of every instant of them that is not lived to its maximum capacity, and just as painfully aware of them zipping by so swiftly i barely see when they start and when they end. if it weren’t for this Fast – that endows each sunrise and each sunset with such significance, every single day full of the entire spectrum of possible feeling –  prayerfulness, detachment, assurance, doubt, focus, confusion, love, gratitude, frustration, joy, humility… . it is possible, utterly possible, to be unable to find the words to say ‘Thank You’ for all of this.

omid: i’m a bit sad that the fast is ending, yet excited to celebrate the start of a New Year. i liken it to a dear friend who is leaving your home after having visited (and slightly overstayed) for three weeks—you’re sad they’re leaving but relieved that you get to go back to life as usual. it’s the heightened spiritual awareness and detachment during the fast that i want and hope to continue to hold onto.

leila:  today was a reminder of how much and how many things can change in one year.  21 March 2008 was the end of this project’s first iteration and the beginning of a new stage in my life, though i wasn’t yet to know it (two weeks later i was gravid).  next week shaun and i will probably begin preparations to move … again (our third relocation in as many years of marriage).  i have been spending the day with a friend as dear as a sister, and we spoke of the delusions of our youths, the brightening hopes of our presents, and the possibilities of our lives to come.  many tears were shed, but so was much laughter (which took us back to tears).  i feel inspired by possibilities, this love that is so large, and tickling warmth of a really good home-cooked curry.